Most marriageable ladies fix their life partners of their own. Yet some parents are required to do this exercise; few of some become anxious and apprehensive with the advancing age of their beloved daughter, primarily because they are not sure what makes a good husband. Here is an advisory for such parents.
Often after engineering or management degree, the entry of alpha and lay young females into the job market with decent salary, normally far above their parents who somehow fed and nurtured them, make them believe that they have achieved all that one needs in life. After all, a hefty package, 2 BHK flat on EMI and a car – that was what parents wanted. They did not, rather could not, teach their children to aspire for something beyond that!
Looks, education, background not vital: A friend of mine with his marriageable daughter nearing mid-30s having lost his sleep confided, “My primary condition is just a house of his own or a stable government-like job. Looks and education are secondary. Alas, only few parents are clear-headed about the choice of a suitable match for their darling daughter.
Lapses in selection of son-in-law: A gross estimation that about a third of marriages are dissolved within a year of solemnisation adds to the tension of parents. Admittedly, many factors are attributable to the break of marriages, there is much parents in command can do in identifying the most befitting partner. Parental responsibility does not end with matching of horoscope, being in known link and nod by the daughter at a personal meeting. Sorry to say – the ‘nod’ is often abused against the poor daughter when things go awry, “You said Yes to that guy, so we proceeded.” This amounts to shruging off one’s responsibility at proper time. Selection of partner for your naïve daughter is a project that you have to undertake in earnest.
First, let there be no illusion that good education, formal & courteous manners, good looks what naïve people equate with ‘personality’ make a good life partner. None of these attributes or a combination is assurance that a person shall do as a good life partner.
A go-getter: Like brick & mortar walls do not make a ‘home’, a handsome youngster with body parts intact, complacent with 10 to 5 schedule, speaking glibly, earning handsome amount but without a vision, and ‘to do’ urge is not certainly a promising person. If the person under consideration has potential, confidence and values, he shall carve out a place for himself and his partner whatever his present family, economic or educational status. A go-getter, he shall have trusted friends. One guided by values shall treat his partner with respect, concern and dignity, and never cheat. Transparency shall be part of his character. Overtly, he may not be impressive sort of guy, but capable of leading a satisfactory and peaceful life with fidelity and love. He shall amass a series of houses, if he so sets his mind though he understands that mental drawing room needs better maintenance than having a decent drawing room and that good memories weigh more than physical assets. In contrast to one lighting a cigarette to ward off the father-in-law approaching him, his love & sympathy for partner shall extend to his partner’s family members as well. At the same time, the partner not reciprocating this gesture can arouse the rebel in him, for sure.
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