Memories of parents linger when the feelings were not just skin deep.
Remembrances haunt me as I see my 88-plus father admitted to the ICU of a hospital near my residence in Delhi for over a week, or when I think of the ordeal he is undergoing. So integral to me in the preceding six years after my mother’s demise has been his benign presence that the inkling of separation unnerves me. A lively, articulate soul, now lying hapless, helpless and lonesome on the ventilator with inviting eyes when I am around during visiting hours. Attending doctors say, “wait and see”.
Vibrant, sterling demeanour: Known for his outspoken, jovial and inspiring demeanour and witty observations at work, family and social circles, none ever having interacted with him could remain unmoved. The embodiment of the sages’ precept of enriching values rather than material assets, he never compromised and educated his five children to the highest level on a small salary, instead of encouraging us to grab a job. For decades he spent winters in cotton trousers and an overcoat. An avid newspaper reader—a trait my brother and I inherit—he would share issues concerning us that we missed, including job vacancies. It was on his information that I applied, got selected, and served two government establishments in my career. Disciplined in routine and meals, we could not offer him an extra morsel. After dinners, he would insist on guests to either stay, or else depart timely. Unhappy at my working till late night hours, he often admonished me— God has created day and night equal, do the day’s work in daytime and vice versa.
Consideration for other’s wishes: His respect for others’ feelings was remarkable. When my daughter was being admitted to school, he preferred the name ‘Suchitra’ though I wanted ‘Silogi’, after a hilly town in my native place in Uttarakhand that had a big role in developing that region. I completed the school registration form he gave me — except for the candidate’s name which I left to him, and rushed to office. Honouring my wish, he wrote down what I wanted —Silogi. As another gesture of his magnanimity, he broke an age-old tradition by not accepting cash envelopes at my marriage.
Until his organs started malfunctioning recently, he never permitted anyone to wash or iron his clothes despite a weakened shoulder. Minimally dependent on others, he has ever been an asset to all. Whenever my wife or I went out on an errand, he would bless us: Vijayee Bhav (Wish, you turn out victor)! After few moments of my daily massaging his feet at bedtime that gave me immense satisfaction, he would say: “That’s enough. You have so much to do!”
After their role on Earth, noble souls stay with their children, guiding and directing them to virtuosity, if one believes it. This thought helps me sustain.
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Published in The New Indian Express, Edit Page, 31 July 2017.
Link of online edition of newspaper: http://www.newindianexpress.com/opinions/2017/jul/31/unnerved-by-the-idea-of-separation-1635989.html
Note: This article was published 17 days after his earthly exit on 14 July 2017.
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