Man is solitary by nature; commitment and hard efforts at individual levels create history. Yet, staying lonely without reason or a mission can play havoc with the mental health. Sharing of thoughts & feelings at appropriate levels is key to staying fit and keep marching forward.
Uniqueness of man: Each of us appears in the world alone, with a distinct mind and a distinct body. He has a unique mental frame and bio-chemic composition like none else has. The innate individuality of each person is exemplified by the impressions of his fingers and eye balls that do not match with that of any other among eight billion people on earth. That is enough evidence that Nature has carved out an exclusive role for each of us that can be served by using the enormous inherent potential. Further, human brain remains the most elusive and intriguing part of the body to the medical scientist because his approach to understanding it is based on empirical, evidenced-based premises. Brain is the seat of thought, which is not only non-material, but has ethereal linkages. Kahlil Gibran refers to thought as ‘a bird of space’ that cannot have free play in the cage of formatted mundane settings. This is in line with the Indic belief that man is essentially a tiny divine unit that eventually merges with Parmatma, the Creator.
Mankind landmark achievements and innovations owe to solitary efforts of single-handed, day in & day out efforts of individuals with fire within, and not the mobs of mediocre calibre. It is because one cannot contribute one’s best in multi-responsibility situation. Yet, the trail blazers, also made of flesh & blood, avoid antagonising the multitudes. It is now in vogue to appreciate the collective efforts of many. “None of us is as good as all of us” proclaimed Raymond Kroc, who through his solitary vision catapulted a fast-food outlet to mammoth, worldwide food chain of McDonald’s fame we witness today. Despite gravitas, the non-conformists often have very long to go; till results are overt and whole world says Kudos, they are subject to ridicule and boycott. A few of them may suffer from pangs of isolation.
Mundane aspitations: The other class of lonely persons is driven by mundane ethos & pathos. Of the two persons from similar background, health status, economic condition, family responsibility, etc. one may be perennially stressed, grumbling, and dissatisfied with status quo, while other is generally cheerful, carefree, and flamboyant. Staying carefree is partly instinctive, but the hard truth is, such mindset can be acquired by clear understanding of purpose and training of mind. Same action can have opposite reactions on the two because it is perception that matters. Men can die of mere imagination. It is our response to a situation that causes suffering, and not the situation per se, said Budha. Not clearing civil services exams, inability to seek admission in desired college or stream after plus two, break in affairs, etc. has led many to isolation, depression, even attempted or actual suicide. At the same time, there have been others who knew that odds are pathways to beautiful destinations, and turned out to become asset to their family and society.
Distorted aspirations: Unfortunately, the thought system most of us have espoused is a corollary of distorted aspirations, convictions, and beliefs. The guiding principle seems to be the hefty bucks one makes in shortest time, the position & possessions one acquires and the Kudos elicited. In a recent post on Facebook, a friend depicts his son landing in a foreign university; this was followed by about a hundred Wows, Smiles, emojis, comments and thrice that ‘Likes.’ None queried about the course being joined and its prospects, whether admission was through competition, or own funding; what about his marriage – he has already turned 40, etc. A great task was declared to have been achieved! In several WhatsApp group messages, it is common to find a family dining in a luxurious hotel abroad. Sole intent being, see that we did it! And value it befittingly.
Similarly, endorsing or putting on silence over newly-weds’ decision not to go the family way until next two career promotion is attained, which may take several years that is in violation of medical precept of right age for having issues. Certain employers, in their interest, provide incentives for not having issues till because it tells on the corporate performance [read bottom line].
Loneliness can affect anyone: Mark that loneliness, depression, or suicidal thinking has nothing to do with one’s social position, material prosperity or popularity. Sometimes being surrounded by everyone is the loneliest. It is the habit of sharing one’s real concerns, manifested in intimate relationships that keeps one mentally and emotionally healthy. Vested interests and apathy towards others are sickening our social fabric. Underscoring that nobody should be denied access to mental health care, the 2023 theme of World Mental Health Day is, Mental Health is a Universal Human Right.
Loneliness: An emerging epidemic: Loneliness has already been linked to high blood pressure, depression, heart disease, stroke, and many more. Lack of social connection is stated to be more dangerous than smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and deadlier than obesity. Terming loneliness as an epidemic as challenging as hypertension or diabetes mellitus, the top health authority viz. Dr Vivek Murthy, Surgeon-General USA suggests a three-pronged strategy to combat social isolation: reviving social infrastructure, controlled use of technology, and re-establishing personal connections. “Our need for human connection is like our need for food and water: essential for our survival,” he concludes his 85-page report.
The habits & practices uplifting our inner self are the ones – and not the career or material accumulation – that morally and spiritually strengthen us and disable us being rendered lonely. Developing feeling of gratitude, regular practice of Yoga and meditation help keeping negative thoughts at bay. Joining a club or hobby, volunteering for a cause, dropping unrealistic goals, adopting a pet, gardening, regular rapport with friends, interactions with strangers, recognising that things go wrong, treating oneself with respect and helping others in need, can obviate feeling of loneliness. Mind that only a mentally healthy person is enabled to lead a satisfying, meaningful and productive life. Start today, so the television or a social media platform does not become your sole companion.
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The article was is the modified version of one carried by The Pioneer on 10 October 2023, the Tuesday with the title, ‘Loneliness: A Prelude to Mental Sickness’. Link of article in online paper: https://www.dailypioneer.com/2023/columnists/loneliness–a-prelude-to-mental-sickness.html
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